Just a quick thought on Brendon Urie.

if you don't know, he's the lead singer of Panic! at the Disco, possibly my favorite band of all time. I think his birthday is in a day or two, or it's today. I can't remember. Maybe it was yesterday? Ugh, anyway. If you listen to Panic!'s albums, hopefully you appreciate Brendon for his incredible vocals. The best part?He sounds just as good live, which isn't something you can say for all artists. Like, Taylor Swift sounds much weaker in live shows, which is a huge letdown. But, yeah, I jest felt like that needed saying.

I got shot in the eye!

I did, though. Had to go the retina specialist again. They said I've improved even more, so that's good I suppose. He did tell me that he's not sure how much more improvement they'll see. I go back in five weeks and they said that if I'm doing alright then, then I'll probably not see them again for maybe two months. So I guess that's looking up.

Ok, this is hilarious. I have this class that's supposed to help us prepare for college and a career. Anyway, I have a lesson that was due last week. The name of it? Procrastination. That is comedy gold, people!

General Update. I don't know, I just felt like writing.

Ok, so the other day this guy that goes to my parents church updated his facebook and said something about how annoying and shallow and what a "Cliche-riddled pop song" Let It Go was and how much he hated it. You have to understand something, he's this guy that's smart and a perfect Christian and everyone at this church loves him so much, so everyone was like 'Yeah, Daniel, you're totally right, it's an awful song ugh.' Plus, he hadn't even seen actual movie, so who the hell is he to judge?! And, I don't know, I got really pissed. I wrote this really long thing about how you need to see the movie and understand the context and about Elsa becoming free and it's an important song because it teaches girls to love themselves. I have a lot of Frozen feels, ok. Anyway, then later some girl from the church was like 'Ok, I get what Ashley is saying, but the song supports rebellion." And I'm just sitting at my computer thinking, "No you cunt, it's liberation, not rebellion. There's a difference between being confident and loving yourself and being an asshole and expecting people to be ok with that." I was pissed. So, there's that.

Other news, uh well, let's see. I got senior pictures done: Here's one:

It was nice, the girl who did it was the same one who did my sister's. She so sweet, but I hated all of them. I hope there's at least one good one. I did though, I cried on the way home from the stress and everything. I don't know. I don't know much these days.

I watched Speed the other day. I love Keanu Reeves so much, I mean, come on, he's attractive and a good actor and his voice is like rough silk. That's how I describe it, don't hate. it was good. Sooooooo 90s, but I enjoyed it. I did laugh at the costumes though.

Anyway, I think that's it.

Senior Pictures

So, it looks like they're going to be tomorrow afternoon, like 5-6, somewhere in there. I hate this. I hate that I need these pictures. In all honesty, if my mom didn't have her heart so set on it, I wouldn't even bother. I hate cameras. I hate looking at them. I hate how I look in pictures. I hate how I look in real life. I hate how I look. I hate this. But I'm going to go and smile and do it and probably come home and cry. I don't know what it is, but whenever I have to get photos done, I just start crying, then I have to hold it in until I'm done with them. School pictures the last five years were hell, let me tell you. so I'm not really excited for this. Also, scars again, I know I mention it a lot, but they're a big part of my life, sad as that is. But I kind of have my outfit planned out, so I think I'm going with long sleeves. I should look ok. I just hate this so much.

Basketball, Texas, and Concerts

Yeah, I'm going to a basketball game Sunday. The Cleveland Cavaliers, I think? I'm not really that into sports but my dad's doing a little family outing thing. It should be fun though. As long as my mom doesn't ruin it. she always seems to get really bitchy whenever we do family things that aren't church related. It's like she gets personally offended by all the people who aren't Christians or something, so then she gets super pissy, which is just awesome, let me tell you. Other than that though, it should be fun. I think my dad's doing it to make up for the fact that he's gonna be gone? I don't know, but it seems like he's been trying to do more with us?

Speaking of Texas, the company is actually gonna have him on a project in Columbus for like six weeks or something, so he'll be gone during the week and back up here on the weekends. After that ends, I think he's supposed to have a week or two, then it's off to Texas. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't think it's going to be a big deal. We'll adjust like we do every other time, and we'll get used to it. I think my mom and Ariel are going to have the hardest time. I honestly don't really care either way.

Remember The Colourist? That band I love (Well, one of the many bands I love) Yeah, they're going to be in Columbus on their first headlining tour, and guess when it is?! Yeah, Sunday. So, I'm going to miss it and I'm super bummed. I wanted a chance to see/meet Kollin, since I didn't last time I saw them. Also, Night Terrors of 1924 are opening for them and I love them, so I'm missing that too. Oh well, I think they're going to have a great career, so maybe in the future. Panic! at the Disco is touring this summer though, so I'm totally planning on going to that.

I am so sick of my crappy internet.

Seriously, though, I haven't gotten any school done the last two days, so I'm at the library again. I need to finish my Psychology course by the end of the day because it's the last day of the quarter and whatnot. So I need to finish writing an essay, write another essay, take a test, so a course review, and take a course exam. And I need to be done by three. I'm telling you all this because I am lazy and a procrastinator.

Oh my god, I had the craziest thing to tell you. So this guy and I met online and we were taking (Yes, I know how it sounds, I've had the stranger danger talk, please) and it turns out we both live in Lima. So he asked if he could stop by my work to meet and and I thought 'ok, at my work, public place, why not?' so I was like yeah, sure stop in tomorrow evening. So he did and it turns out he goes to the of the sister churches of my mom's church and he knows my sister and we know a lot of the same people. I was like 'Holy shit I was really talking to a church boy about how much I don't believe in god wow ok'. I mean he was sweet and all, but he was a country bumpkin I guess. I mean, he asked me what analytical meant and I was like nope nope no I need out of this conversation. So nice and all, but I kinda hope I never see him again. It was definitely a new experience though and I'd probably do it again.

Speaking of work, I got called in early yesterday, so that was interesting. I was supposed to work at 5, but I got a call from one of the managers. The opener called off so they called everyone and moved their shifts up. I was at work from 1 to 9:30. It was so long, but nice for the check.

But I do really need to get school done, I just feel bad if I don't post every few days. But my Internet sucks, so what can you do, right?

Work makes me really tense.

Seriously, we were swamped today. I have social anxiety, so being around a lot of people can really stress me out and scare me at times. I was doing great today, even though it was the busiest we've been in weeks, I was totally okay. Then I got trapped behind the register for an hour. Usually I 'll do it for a while then pass it off because I can't handle it, but there was no one else. Andrew finally came up later and got on the other register. We close at 6, but we had people in line until 6:20, it was awful. I was shaking and my breathing was really erratic by the time everyone was gone. See, I think Andrew might have an idea what I go through. We've talked about anxiety and such before. I appreciate him so much, I feel like I can trust him, he knows more about my issues than anyone else there. So when we were done he was like, 'You ok? Doing good? Ok, you're awesome, remember that.' and I just really appreciate him and he has great taste in music and I get so upset when I remember that he's married dammit. But I still appreciate him for being an amazing and supportive person who's willing to deal with all the weird shit I tell him.

But there was a special sale for employee's and stuff today (I love working at Penneys) so I scored some work clothes and they're awesome.

You know what? I haven't knitted much lately. I've been really busy. I've been behind in my school work so I've been doing double trying to catch up, I worked five days last week, I've been trying to schedule senior pics, I'm trying to coordinate some stuff going on in the next few months. It's been busy. I did a bit last night but I was so tired I crashed.

This week should be better. I'm like two lessons away form being caught up with school, so cool. I really need to do my laundry tomorrow though, so I may do that during school. And I only work four days this week. I do work tomorrow night though, but then I have two days off, yay!