Happy Spring!

I'm freezing my ass off. Seriously, it's freezing in my house. Ugh. Fucking first day of spring my ass.

I had a thought just a few minutes ago. Swimsuit season. Then I got really panicked. Ok, I have a few problems with swimsuit season. One, I'm ugly and way too fat for bikinis so I don't wear them and everyone one else on earth looks better in swimwear than I do and it makes me cry and hate myself. Two, scars. I have a bunch on my thighs and a lot on my arms, mainly wrists and upper arms. Are you seeing my problem? How am I supposed to hide them for four months while everyone else is in tank tops and booty shorts? Plus, again, fat and ugly, so the more of my I can hide under clothing, the better it is for me and everyone who has to look at me. Ugh. This is one of the top reasons why I hate summer. I feel insecure and I get depressed, so I want to cut, but I can cause it's short sleeve season, so I get more depressed. Fuck everything, I'll wear jackets all summer. That's not weird or anything.

I've been training the new girl at work. Another one. She's really sweet and she's catching on really quick. And I'm frumpy and ugly and she's cute and sweet and I hate everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who does any actual work in that department, because everyone else just stands around and talks. I mean, I do too sometimes, but I also get a lot of shit done and it's just I wish they would help and and actually work sometimes and just blegh. Oh well, that's life I suppose.

I've been reading American Gods By Neil Gaiman over the last week. It's a library book so I have to go renew it tomorrow because I really love it. Gaiman's a great writer. I read his book Stardust a couple of years ago. A bit fanciful for me, but well written in my opinion. so, I'm eager to finish this one and tell you how I like it.