"So here I am, I'm right back at it again..."

A Day To Remember is one of my favorite bands, and I thought this quote from one of their songs was only appropriate for the first day of school. As always, I'm a massive bundle of nerves, but I'll be okay. I have my bag all packed, songs picked out, and I honestly feel better know that I'm going to get to come home to Kenny at the end of the day and talk to him about my first day back.

First days are hard enough, but they're doubly hard for me with my anxiety. I mean, I get really nervous in new classes when I know the teacher and most of the students, but this semester I'm taking some lower level classes, meaning I won't know anyone in the classes, and I'm have classes with some teachers that I've never sat under before, so that makes me really nervous too. However, my classes this semester are really cool. I'm taking a Tudor History class (one of my favorite periods), a Rock and Roll History class (one of my favorite genres), a Shakespeare class (one of my favorite authors), a poetry class (one of my favorite forms of creative writing), and an American Sign Language class (one of my favorite languages). So, I'm pretty well set on classes. I know that I perform better when I'm personally invested/interested in the material, so I feel like I'm going to do really well this semester, Regardless, I'm gonna work my ass off because I really want to make Dean's List. I've made it the last three semesters and I want to keep that up.

Time wise, my schedule is looking really nice too. No classes before 10, and with my tutoring, the earliest I'll have to be on campus is 9, which is just perfect for me. I am gonna be crazy busy though. Between classes, tutoring, work, and trying to keep on top of the house, laundry, etc, I'm going to be going nonstop. It's all worth it though. I really love where my life is at right now and I cannot wait to see what happens this semester.

Don't Drop That Thun Thun Thun

I didn't drop that thun thun thun (Is that even how it's spelled??) but I did drop my Stats class. I feel kind of weak for having to drop it, but I think it'll be good for me in the long run.

See, even without Stats, I'm taking five classes and they all have papers and oresentation and research projects and so so so so so much reading. There's usually at least two nights a week where I'll have 200+ pages of reading to do in a night. Now, add in Stats. I was probably putting in 4ish hours of homework just for that class every week. And I still wasn't doing well.

If I had kept it, I probably would have (A) killed my GPA at the end of the semester and (B) really stressed myself out. My goal for this semester is to not get so stressed out over school that I start crying, so I made the decision to drop Stats to protect my mental health.

I'm the kind of person who gets easily overwhelmed, so I probably would not have handled the class very well. Kenny pointed that out and told me that he completely supported my decision to drop Stats and that he thought it was a really good idea. I love that he always has my back, because I know that if he told me that dropping the class was a good idea, then he really believed that, because he doesn't bullshit with me.

So yeah, I still have a crazy bust schedule, but at least now I'll probably retain my mental sanity for the whole semester.

Probably.

How to Tutor When You're Going Blind

Actually a genuine concern for me right now. I have an eye condition where, basically, I have blood vessels behind my eyes that press on my retinas and make everything look distorted. It used to just be my left eye but it's starting to happen in my right eye. Reading has become really difficult, which sucks, because I have to do a ton of reading. But, I have an appointment next Wednesday, so I'll get shots in my eyes and it'll get better.

So yeah, reading has become genuinely difficult, but I refuse to let this stop me in any way. I want this degree too much to quit. I don't care how hard I have to try, I'll do all the damn reading I have to.

Anyways. So, as you know, I have a job tutoring as OSU Lima, where I go to school. There are some students that are required to come in for tutoring twice a week. When they do, we, the tutors, fill out a report so that the teachers and administration know that the students are coming in and meeting the requirements to pass the course. They need 22 appointments, so there's a tally by each students name in the database. It's the first week of the semester and I was putting in a report for one of my students. I noticed that they had two appointments already and I felt proud. Proud that my student already had more appointments than anyone else's. That made me realize two things. 1) I like knowing that I'm helping someone achieve their goals. Because even though some of these kids don't really want to be here, I'm helping them pass their class and improve their writing skills. I also realized that 2) I'm a cocky bastard and I love knowing that I'm 'beating' the other tutors.

But, I have homework and another student should be showing up for their appointment soon.

Duces

I apologize most sincerely.

I know I haven't posted in over a month or two. I have no excuse except I am a really shitty person. I do really hope to get back to posting regularly.

At this moment, I am on the OSU Lima campus. Yes, I have begun my first day of college. My class isn't until 9 though, but my sister and I carpool a few days, so I showed up an hour early. Shout out to the librarian who let me into the library ten minutes early because I was just awkwardly standing outside. You're very rad, ma'am.

So yeah, I have three classes today and I'll be out of here by 1:30 at the latest. I'm really excited, but I also feel like I could throw up at any minute. I'm really hoping that I see some of the people that I got to know at the meet and great yesterday. You know who I did see yesterday? Andrew's wife. Andrew from my work, he's married, so she and I sat together for a while. She's such a sweet person, he's a lucky guy. Well. I guess they're both pretty lucky.

So, I guess I'll be sitting here for another fifteen minutes or so, then I'll head and try to find my class. Hopefully I can find them all okay. they're all in the same building, so I should be fine.