I Am Now Famous

The Blacklist was back on last night, it hadn't been airing because of the olympics. I really really love the show. I think's it got a great plot, great soundtrack, and I am completely in love with James Spader, sorry not sorry.

That important part is, I tweet during the show and I tweet at the actors and some people on twitter who like the show and I tweet at the official NBC Blacklist twitter. There was one part during the show that Spader's character was being incredibly sassy and brilliant and Spader was just putting down a brilliant performance. I tweeted at the NBC Blacklist twitter "Oh my god, Sassy Reddington is literally my favorite thing on this show." AND. THEY. RETWEETED. MY. TWEET. I REPEAT. A NATIONAL. TELEVISION SHOW'S TWITTER. RETWEETED. MY. TWEET. Here's a link to their twitter, if you don't believe me. Am I internet famous now?

I just thought it was really cool. I love the show and having something like that happen to me just made it even better. I don't know. I know it's a dumb little thing, but it meant a lot to me.

I'm Stupid and Lonely

Mostly stupid though.

But, lonely, yeah.

I wanted to go see The Monuments Men and mom wanted me to have someone to go with and I don't really have any friends, but I texted my friend Jenna and she was at someone's house and it got me thinking. I really have no friends. Like the kind I hang out with. I never ever have plans. Hell, I've never even been to a party. I'm really lonely. I've been in my room crying for the last twenty minuted because it just really fucking depressed me. I'm fucking eighteen and I have no life, no friends. Nothing. I'm hopeless and ugly and stupid and lonely.

And I think I'm coming down with something. My throat hurts and I've been warm all day.

I'm gonna go take a bath and try to not cut myself, because I really really want to right now.

School and Work and Knitting, Oh My!

So, I was having issues with some of my schoolwork not getting graded. I mean, I'm homeschooled, it's al online. I'm doing an online program. Anyway, most things are automatically graded. The only things my teachers actually need to grade are like some papers I write. I had things turned in last Friday and as of yesterday morning they were still not graded. I finally had to email my art history teacher and ask her when I could expect my essays to be graded. These are literally all like three-hundred word papers, it's really not that hard to grade. Anyway, she emailed me back and was like 'Oh, my bad, there were some students who were behind that I was helping. I'll grade yours tonight.' And she did and they were graded this morning, but, really? You have to understand, most of the kids in this online program are kids who have been kicked out of everywhere else, so to hear that some are behind isn't that surprising. I'm fine with it, but she also needs to realize that she has students that work hard and who expect their papers to at least be graded over the weekend. I'm a bit pissed about it.

There's something special going on at work tomorrow. See, I work at JCPenney and something they push is getting people to sign up for the JCPenney credit card, so they'll have special days for the associates and stuff. The point is, we can wear jeans if we wear a black shirt tomorrow. YAY!! Usually, we have to wear business casual. You know, khaki, nice shirts, no denim. So everyone looses their shit and gets really excited. I know I'm excited.

Also, after work I may go shopping. Old Navy is having a sale on jeans and I should go get some. The problem with me and jeans is I'm short and chubby. It's hard to find jeans that fit lengthwise and also fit well in the butt and doesn't do the odd wrinkle thing in the crotch. Am I the only one who has a problem with baggy crotch areas in jeans??!?!? But Old Navy jeans fit me really well, so I should go get some. If anyone's looking for some jeans, they're gonna be like $19 at Old Navy tomorrow. Hit 'em up!

Knitting. I'm starting placemat 4 of 7. I started them as a present for my mom for Christmas. I am so sick of them. They take forever and they're boring and they're not even interesting to make and I have to weave in all the ends and just ugh I really want to be done with them. I also want to learn how to fair isle knit. First though, I want to finish my projects, the placemats, the socks, and a scarf I started months ago.

But, I work in twelve hours, I need a shower, and I'm exhausted. Goodnight!!

Pacific Rim, Also, Guardians of the Galaxy

So yeah, I'm sitting here watching Pacific Rim with my mom and my sister. I got so much done in school today, totally made up for not having internet yesterday. It's an interesting movie so far.  Love the cast, especially Charlie Day and Burn Gorman. Science Bros FTW!

We'll see how the rest of it goes. Honestly, I don't like how the fight scenes are filmed. They're dark and wet and shaky and you have no idea what the hell is going on. I hate cinematography like that, it bothers me more than I can actually describe.

As soon as it's over, though, I'm going to have to get ready for work. I swear my schedule this week is so wonky. I went in at four on Monday, five yesterday, and three-thirty today. I have no idea how they set up the schedule sometimes. Oh well, I'm getting hours again, which is great.

Speaking of work, I may finally have a car again. Mine stopped working a few months ago and my dad said he would look at it. Of course, my dad never ever ever comes through on anything he says and he hadn't gotten to it, so I've been driving around his truck. He worked out a deal with me, and we've gotten it down to the mechanic's, so hopefully I'll have a working car soon so I can stop driving a huge ass truck everywhere. I don't mind it, but there's a huge cab on the back and it looks ridiculous and it's a bit hard to drive sometimes.

About Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't know if you've been following this film, which I have, but we got the first trailer on Jimmy Kimmel live last night. I'm so excited for it, because it's different from Marvel's usual superhero bid. Plus, Karen Gillan and James Spader, yo. It's going to be really go, I can feel it. Here's the trailer, check it out!

I Know I'm Being Foolish, But...

Ok, here's the deal. I'm chubby and ugly and I look like a kid. I know all this. I know that there is no way in hell anyone's ever going to be interested in me and I'm going to end up alone in life. That's a fact and I have accepted it. But, I fool myself all the time that someone might like me. I know it's stupid and I'm only going to hurt myself in the long run, but everyone wants to find love right?

The point is this: Pennys, where I work, is right next to Hot Topic, which is a bad idea because I'm in there almost every week buying shit I don't need. But there's this guy the works there and I see him a lot and he's really attractive and really sweet. Anyway, last night I was at work and this guy and a friend of his just randomly walked through the home department and they were like watching the register where I was, then they did like wide u-turn and walked right past the register where I was.

I know it's totally in my head, but I felt like maybe they were looking at me and, I don't know, I felt good. Every girl wants to feel like people find her attractive and I never feel that. I know, I'm stupid. Really, really, stupid. Ugh

Time to get ready for work now. Hopefully the bad roads kept people home, but I doubt it.

Downton Abbey

So, I'm sitting here watching Downton Abbey. I really really enjoy this show. First of all, I love period dramas of all kinds, so I was totally enticed from the very beginning. Also, I love the cast, I think everyone is just so sweet. Also, there are some character I really hate and dislike, which is refreshing. Sometimes, you get bored when you just love everyone in a show. I don't like Mary. I think she's a snob and kind of heartless. I didn't want her and Matthew to end up together. I'm sorry, I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I can't stand her.

See, I love Michelle Dockery. I think she's gorgeous, funny, and so sweet. But I hate Mary. See, you have to learn to differentiate between characters and the actors that play them. I hate it when people hate on an actor just because they don't like the role they've been given. A perfect example is Amanda Abbington. If you know anything about her, you know that she's really intelligent and sweet and a huge activist for animal rights, I really love her. But the backlash she get when she was cast as Mary in Sherlock was appalling. She got death threats. FUCKING DEATH THREATS, because she was given a role. She and Martin have fucking been a couple since like 2001 or something and people had the audacity to give her shit about it. Sometimes people are really fucking stupid.

A Couple Thoughts on School

So, I finally got my FAFSA done. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as my sister made it out to be. It took maybe a half hour. Noe I should really look into actually applying to a college. But part of me wants to take a semester or so off, but I also know that I should just start with college. It's what my mom wants me to do, so I probably should. What I don't get is that, until we graduate, we're expected to go to class when they say, sit, still, not talk, ask to go to the bathroom, and all that shit. Then, BOOM, you graduate and everyone expects you to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school for it. I just don't know right now.

And I'm scared of failing. I know I'm dumb and I know I'm never going to be as good or as successful as my sister, so I don't even want to try because I just have this sinking feeling in my gut that I'm not going to be able to do it and I'm going to fail.

One more thing, totally off topic. I adore Adrien Brody, I really really do,