Thursday, June 2, 2016

Ch-ch-ch-changes! (Like, the Bowie song..get it?!)

Big things are happening. Kenny and I are probably going to be getting a place in the next month or so. A friend of his dad’s contacted him and said that his daughter was looking to sell her trailer and he wanted to know if Kenny was interested. He and I talked about it and he told me that he had been in it before and it was really nice and he wanted us to go look at it. Of course, I agreed. I mean, a trailer wasn’t what I pictured as our first place, but it’s nice. Big enough for the two of us, definitely. And she’s wanting to sell it, so Kenny and I would actually own it, which, truth be told, scares the shit out of me.

I love Kenny, utterly. And I want to have a life with him, but it’s terrifying. I’m twenty, I still feel like a child sometimes. I might be going from never having lived anywhere other than my parent’s house to owning my own place and that’s fucking crazy. But, at the same time, it’s really exciting. This has the potential to be a whole new chapter in my life. If I were a cliché sentimentalist (which I am) I would probably say that this is the beginning of the rest of my life. And I’m ready for it.

One of the things that makes me most nervous is the fact that this has the potential to drastically change my relationship with Kenny. What if I have a habit that annoys him so much that he starts avoiding me? What if he starts to get annoyed with me stealing the covers every night? I know this could be a great thing and it could strengthen our relationship and bring us even closer as a couple, but I know that there’s also a lot that could go wrong. I’ve heard from so many people that the romance goes out of a relationship as soon as people start sharing a living space, and I’m petrified that that is going to happen. I love how romantic Kenny’s always been toward me, but what if that slowly just…stops?


I know that I probably don’t have anything to worry about at this point, but I’ve seen what kind of environment a house can have when two people stop putting effort into their relationship and I’m scared of that happening.

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