Sunday, March 27, 2016

Separation Anxiety

So I got to spend the weekend with Kenny. His friend was out of town and he was house-sitting, so I stayed over with him. It was absolutely wonderful, getting to fall asleep next to my favorite person on the planet and just getting to be with him all day. But now I'm back home, sitting in my living room, working on homework, and absolutely dreading going to bed tonight.

It started years ago. my best friend at the time, Emily, lived an hour away, so I would go up there for a weekend and stay there for two nights. Then when I would come back home on Sunday nights, I would get absolutely terrified of going to bed for a couple nights. The abrupt shift from sleeping in the same room with someone to being all alone really fucks with my anxiety.

So now, not only am I going to bed alone tonight, but the person I'm missing is also the person I want to fall asleep beside every night for the rest of my life. So tonight's gonna be fun.

My plan is to do homework and watch Netflix until my eyes burn, then try to fall asleep quickly. It also doesn't help that I'm not taking my antidepressants at the moment, so I need to get back on those.

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