So I got to spend the weekend with Kenny. His friend was out of town and he was house-sitting, so I stayed over with him. It was absolutely wonderful, getting to fall asleep next to my favorite person on the planet and just getting to be with him all day. But now I'm back home, sitting in my living room, working on homework, and absolutely dreading going to bed tonight.
It started years ago. my best friend at the time, Emily, lived an hour away, so I would go up there for a weekend and stay there for two nights. Then when I would come back home on Sunday nights, I would get absolutely terrified of going to bed for a couple nights. The abrupt shift from sleeping in the same room with someone to being all alone really fucks with my anxiety.
So now, not only am I going to bed alone tonight, but the person I'm missing is also the person I want to fall asleep beside every night for the rest of my life. So tonight's gonna be fun.
My plan is to do homework and watch Netflix until my eyes burn, then try to fall asleep quickly. It also doesn't help that I'm not taking my antidepressants at the moment, so I need to get back on those.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Friday, March 18, 2016
An Editorial, by Me
Okay, this article (http://theodysseyonline.com/wku/it-is-okay-to-not-be-feminist/344023)
bothered me for several reasons and I can’t just ignore it, so here we go.
First of all, yes, the current
movement is referred to as Fourth Wave Feminism. However, this definition was
given mainly because of the interconnectivity of global feminism that has been brought
around by social media. It does combine “Politics, psychology, and spirituality
in an overarching vision of change.” (Diamond, 4), but overall Kira Cochrane
defines it as a movement connected by technology. So, the “things” these
feminists are fighting for equal representation in politics, and establishing
that women are psychologically equal to men. That’s not to say that our brains
work exactly the same, but it is saying that mentally, we are in no way
inferior to men. Personally, I don’t understand why Sankey would not want those
things, but onward.
The next section deals with the
question, “Why are women considered the more domestic and nurturing ones?” And
she makes some fair points. Women are the ones who carry children and it does
create a bond. And I agree when she says that wanting to care for your family
is okay. I however, do not agree when she says that feminists do not want you
to believe these things. As a feminist, if you want to be a homemaker, I
completely support that. What I do not support
is the belief that women are supposed to
be the homemaker and any other mold than that is odd. I don’t believe that any
woman should be forced into a role she doesn’t want simply because it’s what society
says she should be doing, and that is what feminists would have you believe.
Sankey also states that she
believes that the only man you submit to should be your husband. I agree with
the implication that women should not submit to a boss, brother, etc. But I
also do not believe that I must submit to my husband. Will I respect him, both
as a human and as a person in my relationship? Yes. Am I going to live my life
as if he is someone that I must submit and subjugate myself to? No. Sankey says that one of the pros of marriage
is having a weight lifted off of you and having a husband to lean on so that
you are no longer independent. I do not believe that these two are mutually exclusive.
I am in a relationship where I do really depend on my significant other for
many things, and having him to lean on has made my life so much better, but I
still retain my independence. I do not have to run my entire life by him for
his approval, and I never will. Even after I’m married, I won’t have to let him
be over every part of my life. Am I going to share every part of my life with
him and not keep secrets from him? Yes, but I will do it because I respect our
partnership and not because the relationship has taken away my independence.
You can have openness and respect in a relationship without having to lose your
independence.
It is perfecting okay to “be a mom
who takes care of her children and doesn’t miss out on their lives”, as Sankey
says, but that is not what you, as a woman, must
do with your life. Yes, it is okay to believe in God, but God taught us
that we are all precious children to him, do you really think a loving creator
like that would want women to think themselves inferior? And if the answer to
that question is yes, then should we really continue to refer to him as a loving
god?
References:
Original article:
http://theodysseyonline.com/wku/it-is-okay-to-not-be-feminist/344023
Cochrane, Kira. The Fourth Wave of Feminism: Meet the Rebel
Women. Published in The Guardian, 10 December, 2013
Diamonds, Diana. The Fourth Wave of Feminism: Psychoanalytic
Perspectives. Studies in Gender and Sexuality 10. 213-223. Print
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
"Deep down, you know you deserve it, don't you?": A Brief Alanysis of Self-Harm Issues in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"
(Wow, two posts in one day. Clearly I'm really procrastinating)
It's been a while since I've read OotP (Order of the Phoenix) and as such, I've noticed a lot of new things as I've read it this time around. One of the new insights I've gained concern "Emo Harry" as he's commonly referred to in this book.
The main point is that Harry, especially in the beginning of this book, is severely depressed. First of all, he went through an incredibly traumatic experience, seeing Voldemort rise, and he is then almost completely cut off from his support group. Ron and Hermione do write to him, but there letters are very shallow and carry no information. The exclusion from the only society that made him feel safe and then he is shunted into a place were he is emotionally and verbally abused.
Another thing laying the foundation was the Dememtor attacks. We know that those creatures are a parallel for depression and we also know that they affect Harry on a more extreme level than most other people. So you have those aspects when he is attacked, and you also have the fact that he has no chocolate afterword aka he's not given proper treatment for a person coming out of a heavy depressive episode
Then, we see all the signs of depression. Harry goes through moments of anxious activity, pacing and constantly writing letters and hoping for information; he also has spells of heavy lethargy, lying on his bed all day, unable to even get up to turn the light on as the day becomes the evening. Then we have his moods. When he first arrives in Grimmaud and during his stay there, we often see him swing from unenthused indifference to extreme aggression within a paragraph or two. However, all this is simply laying the groundwork for the self-harm to come later.
When Umbridge gives Harry detention, she makes him carve words into his skin as he writes lines. Allow me to repeat myself. Umbridge causes Harry to cut into his own skin. That is more or less the definition of self-harm. Of course, there are other methods of self-mutilation, but cutting one's skin is the most common method. So we have Harry sitting there repeatedly slicing into his own skin. Yes, he is in detention and being forced to do it, but this is a parallel, not a part of the plot...if that makes sense.
One of the strongest pieces of evidence that this is supposed to relate to self-harm are Umbridge's remarks to Harry and his reaction to the punishment. After his first session, she says, "Deep down, you know you deserve this, don't you, Mr. Potter". Or it's incredibly close to that. I don't have the book on hand, but I'm willing to bet that, if anything, I'm less than two words off on that quote.
Anyway, that's something that can be seen as very indicative of self-harm. People who harm often feel, on some level, that the reason they hurt themselves is because they have done something in their life to deserve this punishment. We also see Harry continue to go back and subject himself to this pain, again like people who harm.
The other big thing that proves this parallel is his reaction to the punishment. His first instinct is to hide what is really going on from Ron and Hermione. The reason for this, he says, is because he is ashamed and he does not want to see the worry and concern in them. Again, relative to people who harm. They often hide their addiction because they are ashamed of what they are doing to themselves and they do not want the people they care about to know of this perceived "weakness".
The final proof I have his Harry's continued denial of his problem. When Ron calls him out and asks what's wrong with his hand, Harry continues to claim "Nothing - It's a scratch", which are quite literally words that I have heard from people who self-harm. The continued shame and denial of his problem, even when his best friend is confronting him face to face is incredibly similar to 'interventions' those who self harm. It's also important to note that once he does tell Ron and eventually Hermione, he feels incredibly relieved and they not only do not abandon him, but they help him to find remedies for his injuries.
Depression is a big theme in the Potter series and especially in this book, and it is my belief that Rowling is using this to make a comment on the stigmas we, as a society, still hold in regards to mental illness and self-mutilation.
It's been a while since I've read OotP (Order of the Phoenix) and as such, I've noticed a lot of new things as I've read it this time around. One of the new insights I've gained concern "Emo Harry" as he's commonly referred to in this book.
The main point is that Harry, especially in the beginning of this book, is severely depressed. First of all, he went through an incredibly traumatic experience, seeing Voldemort rise, and he is then almost completely cut off from his support group. Ron and Hermione do write to him, but there letters are very shallow and carry no information. The exclusion from the only society that made him feel safe and then he is shunted into a place were he is emotionally and verbally abused.
Another thing laying the foundation was the Dememtor attacks. We know that those creatures are a parallel for depression and we also know that they affect Harry on a more extreme level than most other people. So you have those aspects when he is attacked, and you also have the fact that he has no chocolate afterword aka he's not given proper treatment for a person coming out of a heavy depressive episode
Then, we see all the signs of depression. Harry goes through moments of anxious activity, pacing and constantly writing letters and hoping for information; he also has spells of heavy lethargy, lying on his bed all day, unable to even get up to turn the light on as the day becomes the evening. Then we have his moods. When he first arrives in Grimmaud and during his stay there, we often see him swing from unenthused indifference to extreme aggression within a paragraph or two. However, all this is simply laying the groundwork for the self-harm to come later.
When Umbridge gives Harry detention, she makes him carve words into his skin as he writes lines. Allow me to repeat myself. Umbridge causes Harry to cut into his own skin. That is more or less the definition of self-harm. Of course, there are other methods of self-mutilation, but cutting one's skin is the most common method. So we have Harry sitting there repeatedly slicing into his own skin. Yes, he is in detention and being forced to do it, but this is a parallel, not a part of the plot...if that makes sense.
One of the strongest pieces of evidence that this is supposed to relate to self-harm are Umbridge's remarks to Harry and his reaction to the punishment. After his first session, she says, "Deep down, you know you deserve this, don't you, Mr. Potter". Or it's incredibly close to that. I don't have the book on hand, but I'm willing to bet that, if anything, I'm less than two words off on that quote.
Anyway, that's something that can be seen as very indicative of self-harm. People who harm often feel, on some level, that the reason they hurt themselves is because they have done something in their life to deserve this punishment. We also see Harry continue to go back and subject himself to this pain, again like people who harm.
The other big thing that proves this parallel is his reaction to the punishment. His first instinct is to hide what is really going on from Ron and Hermione. The reason for this, he says, is because he is ashamed and he does not want to see the worry and concern in them. Again, relative to people who harm. They often hide their addiction because they are ashamed of what they are doing to themselves and they do not want the people they care about to know of this perceived "weakness".
The final proof I have his Harry's continued denial of his problem. When Ron calls him out and asks what's wrong with his hand, Harry continues to claim "Nothing - It's a scratch", which are quite literally words that I have heard from people who self-harm. The continued shame and denial of his problem, even when his best friend is confronting him face to face is incredibly similar to 'interventions' those who self harm. It's also important to note that once he does tell Ron and eventually Hermione, he feels incredibly relieved and they not only do not abandon him, but they help him to find remedies for his injuries.
Depression is a big theme in the Potter series and especially in this book, and it is my belief that Rowling is using this to make a comment on the stigmas we, as a society, still hold in regards to mental illness and self-mutilation.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I might believe in God.
Not really, but it made for a snappy title. I am, however, very happy right now. I was supposed to have a paper due in my History class tomorrow. It wasn't a big paper, only 2 pages, but I still had to do all the reading. But my teacher, bless her adorable little heart, decided to change the due date to next Wednesday instead, so now I have a whole week to get it done and I can spend tonight focusing on writing my paper that I have due on Friday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)